Struggling to Gain Control? [MwM – 027] | Mark Van Der Gaag

Struggling to Gain Control? [MwM – 027]

Struggling to Gain Control?

Are you struggling with a behavior, habit or way of being that is causing you pain, suffering, lack, or loss of any kind?

There is a simple way out.

Stop trying to dominate the behavior and liberate it instead.

Inside the darkness – that which we judge as bad & wrong within ourselves – is a gift or ability that is meant for our good.

The negative qualities and traits that repeatedly show up in you and around you, thwarting your progress and hindering your growth, are not actually the problem.

They are simply undiscovered hidden abilities and unrecovered lost aspects of your authentic self that were long ago negatively judged into oblivion…

…and are now being used inappropriately.

That these facets of you continue to show up is actually a gift. They are trying to find their way back home, back into the positive state of your conscious awareness. 

They are showing you a power in yourself that you have denied or disowned. They will persist until you acknowledge the good in them and consciously…


Your True Self

There are many great methods, processes and practitioners out there that can help with this reclamation process. 

But, so you can start today, I’m going to offer a practice to you that you can do on your own. 

Remember, though it is possible to misunderstand and judge aspects of yourself as bad and wrong and therefore experience them that way… 

…it is impossible to make your misinterpretations True. 

The Truth about you and all aspects of you is that you are Good and every part of you is Good. 

And though everything has the potential for positive or negative expression, it is the positive expression that reflects your True Nature, your True Essence.

The rest is simply lies and illusions. 

However, lies and illusions sanctioned by your belief are just as powerful in their ability to affect your peace of mind as is the Truth. 

This is so important to understand if we want to find peace.

No part of you can be destroyed or eliminated. 

Whatever we try to deny and disown by holding down and suppressing, will continue to show up, but in its negative form.

In order to experience the peace and joy we so desperately desire, it is imperative that we ACCEPT ourselves – all of our – selves.

As we consciously accept and therefore integrate each denied aspect of ourselves back into our psyche, we once again gain conscious control over them.

Then, we get to selectively access and apply them whenever it’s appropriate and necessary, while leaving them idle but available when they are not needed.

So let’s take some time this week to start discovering and integrating the many lost aspects of ourselves by identifying the negatives and flipping them to positives.

The Practice

1. Begin by selecting one behavior, characteristic or trait in yourself that you do not like. Then ask yourself, “what is the positive side of this trait?”

Example: If you judge yourself or some regular behavior you display as “lazy,” you would ask yourself, what is the positive expression or aspect of laziness?

The positive expression of laziness is simply your ability to rest and relax. LAZY = REST

If resting is showing up in your life like laziness (resting when you need to be moving), then it’s likely that you learned to judge resting as bad and wrong.

If you judge resting as bad and wrong, you will not allow yourself to do it in a conscious way and so it will force itself upon you in a subconscious way.

2. Next thing to do is take back the word laziness and flip it into your power to rest by saying, yes I am lazy. I am someone who can rest and relax!

3.Then, ask the part of yourself that you call lazy, what do you need from me? How and where can I get more rest and relaxation?

4. Now listen for the answer and take that action.

Congratulations! You have now transformed laziness into restfulness and have placed it within your control instead of it being in control of you.

– Mark

June 15, 2020

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