[MwM – 001] What is holding you back? – Mark Van Der Gaag

[MwM – 001] What is holding you back?

Have you ever felt like something is holding you back? 

Well, if you have, you’re probably right. There is something holding you back.

But to be clear, there is nothing outside yourself that can hold you back.

The only thing powerful enough to hold you back…  is you

You might ask, why would I hold myself back? Why would I want something but then secretly stop myself from having it?

The answer is – conflicting beliefs.

The holding back occurs when we have subconscious or hidden beliefs and commitments that seem to be in conflict with our conscious or overt desires and intentions.

A belief is simply a decision you have made based on your judgment, interpretation or perception of your circumstance, situation or experience.  

A hidden belief is a decision you made in the past and then forgot you made it. The problem with hidden beliefs from the past is that they have the power to continue secretly directing your current decisions and subsequent behaviors and actions.

Since our hidden beliefs and commitments spring from the perspective of a small, vulnerable child, they are often fear-based and safety-oriented. When in conflict, our need for safety will always supersede our desire for fulfillment. This means our hidden commitments (protection mechanisms) will always overrule and secretly sabotage our conscious intentions.

Example: Let’s say you have an underlying commitment to freedom and a hidden belief that business owners are slaves to their business.  And then one day you decide you want to be a successful and wealthy entrepreneur. What do you think will happen?  Yes, your need for freedom will sabotage your desire for success. The overt desire to be a wealthy entrepreneur and covert commitment to freedom would appear to be in conflict. In this scenario your need for freedom (safety) will sabotage your desire to be a successful entrepreneur (fulfillment). 

The only way to free yourself from this secret saboteur is by uncovering your hidden beliefs and underlying commitments and then giving up your “either / or” thinking in exchange for “both / and” thinking.  

You only win or experience true happiness when you get to have both safety and fulfillment. 

The Universe is unlimited and fully abundant.  Instead of which one do I give up in order to have the other, the better question to ask yourself is, how do I get to have both? If you ask that question the Universe will celebrate and immediately set about bringing you the answer. 

If you feel like something is holding you back, ask yourself:

  • How does my goal, dream or desire threaten my need for safety? What am I afraid would happen if I get what I want?  
  • How can I have both the thing I need for safety and achieve my goals, dreams and desires?

   — Mark 

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December 16, 2019

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